Dopamine high

pexels-photoThe rush. The excitement. The challenge. Without these, I sit or lay down some where lost in my never ending thoughts that jump from topic to topic. One minute I am laughing and the next I am crying or maybe frustrated. You get the picture.

I am always on the hunt for something to excite me, challenge me and fascinate me: reading a new novel, learning something new about coding, watching a mind captivating video (if the video is too long, my mind wonders of to la la land), going skating or talking to someone I really like (I should have added another really).

I want that high; the falling in love high, something like planning a trip/learning something new high, doing something to pump up my adrenaline high. But as much as I want that high, I lose interest quickly. Yes, I am one of those ADHD/depressed teens. Its either I am all over the place or in one particular place.

My mind is always wondering whether I can keep a friendship or relationship because I might not find them interesting anymore. What happens when I do not want to talk to them or see them for a couple of days (I know you would hate me)?

I seriously had a cool ending to this piece but with millions of thoughts running in my mind, I will end here.

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