lone-ly

tumblr_nlltlwleuh1s2zu6qo1_1280Being lonely is

Wanting to go out but have no idea where

Picking your phone to call someone but no clue who

Wanting physical contact from someone special

Taking long walks as you play depressing songs

The night becoming your best friend

People walking away from you

You become silent and always the third wheel

You no longer care about meeting new people

You are used to random short mourns

Cries

And the pain they bring

You stop trying

And you embrace it

And when you feel lonely

You disguise it

With a movie or a book

Even when you are out with family or people you know

You still feel it

And when you have so much fun

You want to relive that day

Mentally you are drained

and you keep yourself too busy to think

for thinking drives you into tears

so you accept being alone

not that you want too

but because it is safer

your heart will not beat for anyone

for sometimes any kind gesture makes your heart excited

and you immediately think of a life with that person

and you end up heart broken

and so you stand not searching for love

for no one can love you the way you can love them

and you become afraid of being too needy

and so you are that loser people talk about

the one that goes to the movies and anywhere alone

but you do not mind

you no longer care what people say or think about you

you are able to walk out of the house dressed however you like

you feel free for you don’t worry about how you look

but sometimes you worry about who will ever love you

it’s no big deal you say

trying to comfort yourself

but deep down you wish for someone to love you in a special way

a best friend

someone who will accept your weirdness and make you feel special

someone who will make time for you

someone head over heels with only you

or maybe that’s just me

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