Philophobia

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I was sick and intoxicated by life.

I sought out love as a new drug,

And love ruined me.

She was beautiful.

Ill and abused by life,

Hiding behind her invisible walls.

For years they stood strong,

Till I walked by.

She quickly let me in.

For the more she gazed at me,

They more she saw pain like hers

Tattooed on my soul.

It was a beautiful yet toxic relationship

That moved too fast,

Till I heard them in my head.

And in trying to protect her from my monsters,

She built back her walls.

Love ruined me and I am afraid of it.

I guess to love me,

You have to love my monsters first.

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