love phobia

download13.Jpg

Do not say it is love.

Because I fail to explain it.

I have lived a filthy life.

A life I am ashamed of.

I have been told to put it behind me.

But isn’t my past a part of who I am?

I am capable of love but

I choose not to flee from it for I fear the worst.

I fear heartbreaks and fights.

I fear seeing her cry because of me.

I fear seeing her hurt because of the words I used.

I fear being the one person she trusts most.

I fear breaking her.

I fear her watching me break.

I fear wanting to be alone when she needs me most.

Cheating on her.

Running to porn for relief.

I fear failing to lead her to Christ like I am supposed too.

No longer chasing and wooing her like I used too when we just started courting.

I fear being a burden to her.

Failing to give God thanks for her.

I fear I will no longer gaze at her like I used too.

So God, work on me.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s