Conversation with God

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Failing to compose my words

A cigarette is lit.

I calmly watch the smoke rise to heaven

And puzzle on how much smoke comes out of my mouth.

Thoughts of what I have done wrong fill my mind,

All the sins and iniquity roam and roar.

It’s the same prayer of asking for forgiveness, a whisper says.

I turn blue and say sorry,

I have no excuse for my actions and choices,

And I hate asking for forgiveness daily for the same things.

It haunts me.

I seek a relationship with you and yet I fail miserably at it.

I keep building walls around myself yet I want you to come through.

I wonder why I do not give up on us.

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