worse than death

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It hurts beautifully;

full of life and color.

The broken pieces of once a beating heart

turn dark as the blood thickens.

Its pulse slows down

and my mind mourns

yet my tears and mouth show no emotion.

As my mind plays the images of her smile

and every little detail I noticed about her,

fear of ever trying to get attached creeps in.

My unstable mind fades into gray,

thinking of ways to heal the heart

and reprogram itself to get used

to not having her around.

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