No I do not want to take my own life,
But I do think of killing myself.
I hate the fact that I only exist and have nothing to live for.
All my passions are temporally and fade like smoke.
I fight to get out of bed
Wishing I didn’t have to wake up.
I end up wishing that death took me to what I presume
a better place than here.
I imagine hanging from the ceiling,
(I laugh about it and call it levitating).
I think of Jumping onto a moving track on the highway,
Or maybe jumping off a building.
But I cannot because thinking of the devastation
I will leave behind depresses me.
So when it gets really bad,
I wear the best smile I can and push myself to not let it show.
But I feel the breaking point coming.