I am not suicidal #1.

No I do not want to take my own life,

But I do think of killing myself.

I hate the fact that I only exist and have nothing to live for.

All my passions are temporally and fade like smoke.

I fight to get out of bed

Wishing I didn’t have to wake up.

I end up wishing that death took me to what I presume

a better place than here.

I imagine hanging from the ceiling,

(I laugh about it and call it levitating).

I think of Jumping onto a moving track on the highway,

Or maybe jumping off a building.

But I cannot because thinking of the devastation

I will leave behind depresses me.

So when it gets really bad,

I wear the best smile I can and push myself to not let it show.

But I feel the breaking point coming.

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